Sacred intimacy, at its core, means choosing not to share our bodies with someone we don’t love or can’t share our heart with. We all experience pleasure in different ways! According to Kabbalah, there are 10 archetypes that represent which type of lover you are. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, this wisdom is vital for any woman who wants to discover her own erotic personality and release the obstacles that keep her from celebrating her sexuality.
Mother-Father God expresses itself through the Upper Light. In turn, human beings carry a burning desire to receive pleasure from the Upper Light — and sacred intimacy is one of the most powerful ways we experience that desire in physical form. Indeed, the stronger our desire for the light, the more light we can receive.
Kabbalah Views the Desire for Union as the Deepest Expression
Kabbalah views the desire for union with another as the deepest expression one can have. In fact, it even goes as far as suggesting that the origin of the universe connects to the origin of pleasure.
Deep intimate connection between two partners is one of the most powerful ways to experience a deep connection with God. However, whenever we intend to reveal light — also known as pleasure in Kabbalah — resistance inevitably arises.
In Kabbalah, we call this resistance the serpent. Specifically, the serpent is the adversary that ignites your self-interest instead of the highest good of the relationship. As a result, this tricky serpent sabotages your intimate life, preventing you from moving toward sacred intimacy.
Here's What You Can Do to Cultivate Sacred Intimacy
Step I — Start by showing your partner that you love him/her by expressing gratitude. For example, regular displays of gratefulness show your partner that you don’t take them for granted. In fact, when we are unable to express gratitude, it indicates that we are stuck in an archetype that no longer supports us or our relationship.
Step II — Read Song of Songs — “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine…” If you’ve never read the Song of Songs in bed with someone you love, you are missing out on one of the greatest sacred experiences you will ever have. Written by King Solomon, this mystical text describes the most sensual love affair between two lovers — King Solomon and Shulamith. Specifically, it teaches us about yearning for our lover, praising him/her, and enjoying one another fully. Ultimately, the Song of Songs shows us how it feels when all of life is filled with love. It is the ultimate guide for creating sacred intimacy.
Step III — Start meditating by yourself, and with your partner if possible, to help release the obsessive negative thoughts that keep you from fully enjoying intimacy. For instance, chanting Elohim — the name of God that represents the merging of feminine and masculine polarity — before intimate connection is phenomenal. Give it a try. My favorite is Elohim by Jane Winter.
Balancing Masculine and Feminine Polarity
Step IV — Assume your predominant polarity — if in this lifetime, regardless of your gender, you assume the feminine polarity, your partner must assume the masculine. Otherwise, if you and your partner share a similar polarity — both masculine or both feminine — attraction will diminish. In other words, physical attraction is maximized by opposite polarities.
Step V — Move away from toxic feminine and masculine polarities. There are two archetypes of the feminine — one distorted, fallen and trapped; the other, a resurrected Divine Feminine. Similarly, the masculine polarity shows up as either a flawed masculinity or a divine one. So, let’s quickly review what constitutes distorted feminine and masculine polarities.
Distorted feminine polarity
- Over-gives — pretends she can do it all by herself
- Plays it small, dims her own light
- Feels overly responsible for everyone — chooses to mother everyone
- Uses her sexuality to seduce, manipulate, and control
- Is addicted to outer validation
Distorted masculine polarity
- Focuses on competition and hierarchy
- Uses logic over emotional intelligence
- Is driven by “drive and strive” — sacrifices everything for success
- Inevitably causes burnout and numbing behaviors
- Doesn’t focus on love or soul connection
Step VI — Balance your amygdala. Specifically, one of the major portals of the Divine Feminine is the amygdala — the emotional center of the brain that influences whether we can experience sacred intimacy or not. Consequently, an overactive amygdala leads to chronic fear and blocks our ability to receive pleasure and sacred connection.
- Practice daily meditation — as little as eight weeks of consistent practice is enough to tame your amygdala.
